The Power of TRUE Affirmations
A Journey through Pain using PRYT and EFT
Pain in my body. White hot, searing and non-wavering. I didn’t cry – I howled. The animal inside ripped through my skin and became a wild beast.
The pain went down the back of my left leg – and my head exploded.
Along with the tears came frustration, anger, disbelief.
Sciatic - Really? It had been 5 years since I had cured myself of 15 years of chronic back pain. Never during that time did it go into my leg.
When I cured myself of back pain so long ago, I then took on the task of retraining my mind. It went something like this:
When I saw a large suitcase, I had to first recognize the fear that came up and change the thought that says, “Don’t lift that or you’ll pull out your back”, to one that says, “I can lift that without a problem occurring”. It took about a year to finally not even think anything at all when lifting a suitcase.
And all it took was picking up a laundry basket for those fears and thoughts to flood back into my body.
“You’ve got to be kidding – Was I not done!”, my mind exclaims.
Ok, I tell myself, I can heal this. I have helped to heal others of “sciatic” pain. In fact, it was only 2 days before, I led a session and my client came away pain free after months of chronic sciatic pain.
I can do this. And as I laid on the floor writhing in pain, I knew I needed help.
Deal with the Pain first. Bring it down so I can at least think straight.
~ Thank goodness for friends who are body-workers to help release some of the physical.
My ibuprofen bottle says 7 years expired.
~ Thank goodness for friends who bring me food, love, and drugs.
Sitting attacks my glut from where the pain emanates.
~ Thank goodness for a hard bed and soft pillows.
I want answers. I know my body is calling out to me to PAY ATTENTION. But to what? What was I missing that all my Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy training in awareness had not already shown me?
And so the journey into the pain begins with a question,
“What’s Happening No
w”?
Lying on my back I had lots of time to ponder, “What is my body saying? What language is it using? What does it know that I’ve hidden?”
While my 2 friends had worked on my body together, there was 1 thing that stood out through the pain – besides the howling and the amazing amount of tears - I remember holding a hand – and that hand would not let go of me.
I started there in my body. I could still feel myself gripping her hand – tears coming – and she was not going to let go.
Question: “What’s happening Now?”
Answer: “Don’t leave me”. I am by myself.”
I had collapsed in my home – no one was around as I live by myself with my son who was not due to be with me for a couple of days. I had to figure out how to get to a phone and get my body in a position of some comfort.
The pain brought up the vulnerability of being alone.
And so I ask the next question, “Say more about being by yourself…”
With frustration came the answer, “Do I have to go over this again? ok, ok, so I’m on my own and for the most part I really like this, but I am also ready for a relationship. I am frustrated and confused and cannot fathom why it’s been so long since I have been in a relationship. Is that what you want to hear?”
And the practitioner in me asks again, “What’s Happening Now?”
“I’m pissed – so angry,” and more, “This hurts – it really hurts. I can’t move, I can’t even walk”
“Say More…”
“It’s in my leg – I can’t take a step in any direction – the pain & resistance isn’t just in my leg – but now it’s back in my mind and my emotions. Ugh, fear and frustration – and that anger.”
So the conversation had continued – and still the pain was not letting up. There are no practitioners in my area that I could call on and I needed someone else to ask the questions and support my body. I needed a witness. Too many roles to be the client and practitioner when in pain. I needed someone else to create a container so I could hear myself.
And in stepped another healer. A friend who had moved out of town called at just that right moment. We had done trades in the past so we knew & honored the others work.
He said he’d been learning this thing called, “Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)” . I knew a little bit about it and called it that ‘tapping’ thing.
I was willing to try anything but he couldn’t give me a session for 2 days. So I went online and downloaded the free manual. I figured, I’m a healer – I can do this. And I did by taking 30 minutes and learning the “Basic Recipe” for EFT. (and yes, I do see the irony of being on my own..)
As I applied it to myself, in about 1 hour of following the routine, the pain decreased about 60% and I was finally able to sit up without shooting pain.
Here’s a video of the “Basic Recipe” routine that I used…
Pretty good – but it wouldn’t go any further. So I waited the 2 days in high anticipation for my session.
My session started with an in-depth conversation about the issue – and some possible links to emotions and past events that might have a connection to this.
I was totally receptive and open as Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, too, uses focused dialogue to get to the root of an issue.
What did I discover through the talking? A lot – only I can’t tell you, because it includes things about my work with my clients. < I did write it all down here for me – but then deleted for confidentiality purposes. >
What I can offer is a deep appreciation to my clients who help me recognize and work with myself.
Loaded with information on the emotional issues and events that led up to my pain, my friend led me through the EFT talking / tapping process.
Where PRYT works with the physical body postures to touch in & transform on the cellular level, EFT uses a process of tapping on the end points of certain energetic meridians that run through the body in order to recalibrate the emotional body system. (I’m not an expert, but that’s my general understanding.)
And while I tapped at these different points, I was led through a list of repeated TRUE affirmations of my emotional issues as I had stated previous during our initial talk. With the confidential stuff taken out, it sounded something like this,
Starting with:
“Even with pain, I love and accept myself completely.”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I am afraid because no one has my back”
(TAP TAP TAP…) I am angry at my body for being in pain”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I am afraid that this pain will last for a very long time”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “Even if it does, I still love & accept myself completely”
(BIG SIGH – BREATH)
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I am responsible for my own body”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “My body is a rich resource of information.”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I will pay attention to the minor irritations before they build to a point of pain”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “And even if I move into pain, I still accept myself completely”
(BIG SIGH – BREATH)
(TAP TAP TAP…) “Sometimes I am alone and I feel lonely.
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I no longer need to take on other’s pain as my own”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “I am strong and can create a strong boundary”
(TAP TAP TAP…) “And even if I take on pain, I still accept myself completely”
(BIG SIGH – BREATH)
And so the affirmations came at me from my practitioner as I tapped for an hour…
Here’s what I love about this process in EFT and one that is also a key component in PRYT…
Did you notice that those affirmations aren’t the airy-fairy, New-Agey kind? The sickeningly sweet ones (that I can’t even say without choking or at the very least leave me feeling like I’m doing it all wrong), those ‘positive’ affirmations which claim something so NOT what I am feeling like - “I am Light, Love and Peace”.
These affirmations are TRUE.
“I AM IN PAIN!” - RIGHT ON!
“I AM SCARED” – YES I AM!
Oh the relief, to affirm and TOTALLY ACCEPT what is TRUE for me in this moment, in this pain, in my body, in my life.
Here’s the kicker - if what I am affirming is TRUE – then they carry power – MY power.
Not the New Age tyrant that says, “You’re a YOGI you should be PEACE”, or the Feminist who claims, “You’re ON YOUR OWN – LOVE IT”, or even the religion that says, “BE LOVE”.
It’s not that I’m NEVER those things (love, light, peace) – it’s just that it’s NOT TRUE IN THIS MOMENT!
And when I get to what’s REALLY TRUE – only then, I can do something about them.
Only then can I accept what is ME. Only then can I explore the choices around what is true. Only then can I find Truth as it is in this moment. And only then can I ACT within my Truth.
*****************
I am writing all this the next day after this session. The pain is less, though not gone. However I notice that my fear that the sciatic will be in my body a long time is no longer dominant.
On the contraire, I believe that the TRUTH of who I am will determine a complete healing in the next couple of days.
And even if it doesn’t, (TAP, TAP, TAP) “I still LOVE and ACCEPT myself completely”.
And, I affirm, too, that my body has many juicy things to still tell me.
“I will pay attention to the minor irritants in my body before the point of pain.” (BIG SIGH – BREATHE.)
*******************
About 2 months after I wrote this article, I finally received a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy session which brought me to another level of healing – almost completely. View this video to get a glimpse of the process:
Go here for more about Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy sessions …
Go here for more about Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)…
Here’s a follow-up email about the pain techniques I used…
Soleil says: “I hope you find something helpful in my process through my physical pain, however please recognize that this is just that – my process and not yours.
Feel free to comment below, however, PLEASE do not tell me what I should or should not have done, what other healing technique you think I should try, or think is best or better.
I know there are many ways to heal, but hearing other ways would be dishonorable to my experience. I wrote this to support my healing and honor my body, my emotions, my mind – my process. Thank you.

February 16, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Dear Soliel,
I have used EFT during a very stressful time and was surprised and amazed at the results. God bless you on your healing journey!
February 16, 2010 at 8:48 pm
Thanks Barb!
February 16, 2010 at 8:55 pm
Hay Soleil,
I had no idea what was up with you. I’m in pain too, emotional big time and I want to say I’m rooting for you in the back ground. If you’d like me to come over to do a session I’d be happy to. If you’d like to give me one from your bed side I accept. You are in my heart. Love, Shawn
February 16, 2010 at 9:03 pm
THANK YOU for speaking the Truth. How refreshing and deeply inspiring to have you get it across so clearly. It always amazes me how brutal humans can be towards themselves about the “what is-ness” of experience and emotion. fastest way out is through the truth of ever-changing Now. I bow to your courageous beautiful self! pb
February 16, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Thank you Penelope!
February 16, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Soleil,
I want to thank you for your openness and being willing to share yourself! I have missed your presence at dance. I the time I have known you I have come to know you as open , honest, loving and passionate. I am adding a new word that I believe to be true of you…transparent. I believe you make the world a safer place by modeling your truth….thank you….thank you….thank you.
If there is anything I can do to serve you at this time, pick things up at the store, sit and mirror back your truth, anything you need/want…please call
February 16, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Thanks Shawn. I’m rooting for you, too! (I have Beth coming from BC to exchange sessions. Bless you both for coming forward as I’m finding PRYT a must-do right now!)
February 16, 2010 at 9:16 pm
I feel joy hearing the truth of your experience & that you are healing. Thank you for sharing your inner process so openly.
February 16, 2010 at 9:20 pm
Hi Soleil*
Thank you. I was riveted by the drama of your truth and your expression of that truth.
Thank you for sharing so much of you with lucky us. That in itself gives me courage to somehow do the same.
I miss you.
Love,
Celeste
February 16, 2010 at 9:25 pm
Dear Celeste –
You, are one of the most courageous women I know – so thank you for hearing me!
Love back.
February 16, 2010 at 9:26 pm
Thank you. Thank you Alana. I feel heard!
February 16, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Soleil, I am encouraged by your healing process.When I’m in pain physically , and especially emotionally, I tend to isolate myself. What a beautiful reaching out to share your vuneralbility. I am encouraged, and cheer you on. I am reminded that in this moment, I too will breathe into my sadness, and except WHN. Life is an amazing jouney.
Sending you warm, loving energy through the ethers.
Nameste* Tammy
February 16, 2010 at 11:18 pm
thank-you for sharing this Soleil. so beautifully open.
much Love to you.
February 16, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Thank you for expressing many of the things I feel but hold too deeply to let out. I appreciate knowing that I’m not alone.
Namaste
February 17, 2010 at 4:15 am
No one is alone, we are all simply “a part”…
February 17, 2010 at 4:15 am
Love to you, too, Danushka!
February 17, 2010 at 4:16 am
Thanks for reaching out, Tammy. Namaste…
February 17, 2010 at 6:58 am
Good for you, Soleil. I LOVE EFT! It is such a balm to my healer self, my practitioner self, and my plain ol’ struggling person self.
I’m so glad you got the help you needed.
February 17, 2010 at 7:29 am
Hey i just heard about this awesome new…….JUST KIDDING!
Soleil, you are courageous on so many levels. Thanks for sharing so deeply your personal process with us. I wish you continued illumination, awareness, understanding & healing.
I Love You,
Kenny
February 17, 2010 at 7:38 am
Well, that means a lot… I’ve been really struggling with my health this past month, feeling imprisoned with migraines. The words that kept coming into my mind this week were “accept what is and go from there”. So when you speak of what is True for you, it’s a great mirror. Thank-you for sharing. It has completely diluted my loneliness.
February 17, 2010 at 8:25 am
I was immediately drawn into the story – and although I was sad when I realized it was really true, your amazing writing (from the moment – the total moment’s – awareness) had me riveted and thrilled anyways.
You’re right about the power of truth (and about a whole bunch of other things!) I find the Truth to be thrilling, no matter what it is. I am thrilled with the power of (your) truth, and with the way you are handling the situation. Chapeau.
Thank you so much for being You.
February 17, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Thanks dear Bree. You are a TRUTH-seeker…
February 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Hi Anie. So glad you found some acceptance of “what is”. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. There are some great podcasts (look down the right column for them). I’d suggest the Centering & Integration.
Peace, Soleil*
February 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm
Thanks Kenny – I know you’re right around the corner. Love you too. S*
February 17, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Thanks Rachel. I thought the healer in you you might like this piece…
February 17, 2010 at 8:12 pm
Soleil,
The She-ra picture is…awesome! Thank you for inviting us into the journey. It is interesting to me as a student to hear your raw process. Glad to hear Beth is on the way. If you need anything just call…seriously! I don’t have a job right now. Look forward to hearing more from you! Get in there.
Peace, Jen
February 17, 2010 at 8:26 pm
Thanks Jen!
February 18, 2010 at 12:39 am
Soleil,
Thanks for writing this and especially calling out the fact that with light and love, we also feel darkness and pain, and both can be very real and part of living.
Much, much support.
Nikki
February 18, 2010 at 2:04 am
Thanks Nikki. I know you understand and appreciate this… S*
February 18, 2010 at 11:47 pm
Greetings Soleil,
My wife sent me this article. She said, “here is someone you can identify with.” As I read of your sciatica experience, I heard myself speak.(or rather, scream) I know the anger and the terror! In fact, when it happens to me, I can feel a deep “rage”. I have felt sciatic pain so deep, sharp and striking, (like electric shocks down my leg and explosions in my toes) that I wondered “how could this pain even exist in Creation?” I have been working with it for quite awhile, on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, and it always come back, (it seems out of nowhere), yet I know that it’s my creation and that it wants to heal. I’ve been trying to “own” it all: my pain, my feelings, my beliefs. Releasing what is not true and accepting what truly is. I’ve been trying to listen to my pain and my body. I don’t believe we need to suffer. Perhaps at one time that was in my belief system, but it is no longer. I’ve been asking Body, Self, God, our blessed Universe, “What’s my lesson here? Even as I write this, I am in the mist of a sciatic “experience”. I will take your suggestion and try what has helped you. Thanks for sharing this part of your journey with me. I don’t believe in accidents, perhaps you are an answer to my Universal call for help.
Gary
February 19, 2010 at 1:35 am
oh Gary. I HEAR YOU – your pain, rage – and even your incredible ability to listen on ALL those levels.
If there’s anything I can do – if a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy session is called for – let me try. If you need a referral for EFT, please let me know.
To YOUR POWER – in all its mysterious forms.
Soleil*
February 20, 2010 at 2:19 am
Powerfully done and beautifully written.
Much love,
Haley
February 20, 2010 at 2:45 am
Thanks Haley. Sending you love… S*
February 21, 2010 at 8:50 am
Soleil,
I’m reminded of a very similar experience last summer the day after my b-day party & right after a massage. I can just imagine what you felt. When it happened to me, I was surprised & hunched over a stool (the only position I could get in by myself until others returned). I feel for you. I know I used that pain for some very deep release – screaming! I’m glad you are doing better. Blessings & full health & ease!
February 21, 2010 at 5:51 pm
Blessings to you to, Brooklin!
February 22, 2010 at 10:42 pm
Soleil, my best wishes to you, and appreciation for your sharing this process. I am SO with you on doing affirmations that are TRUE, rather than the forced and contrived ideas of what we think SHOULD be true! Continued healing to you and blessings!
February 22, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Thanks Selene!
February 22, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Dear Soleil,
Thanks for so generously sharing your process. I deeply appreciate the clarity and courage of your sharing. You’ve inspired me with your spirit and with this healing information. One of my counselors shared this technique with me early in my healing journey – I didn’t understand it but my faith in her healing intent enabled me to let go of “trying to understand” and to simply enter the healing experience. It was beneficial. I celebrate the way you reach out using these digital tools to kindle more feeling.
Bless you,
Catherine
February 23, 2010 at 12:18 am
Thanks Catherine. I think that ‘faith’ in your healer is key in helping the healing process. Thanks for the share – yes, I do think that technology can be a useful tool for all this! Blessings to you. Soleil*
February 23, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Dear Soleil
Your words touched me deeply. Not having been in that kind of “physical” pain, it brought me to a place of deeper empathy for my clients. Reading your story also brought sweet memories of our time together in PRYT and how deeply you touched my heart. You will never be alone S, you live in the hearts of so many, you are an angel sent from above to bring healing to this world and that can feel lonely at times, but you are never alone. You are loved, respected and an inspiration to anyone who has the privileged to meet you.. Thank you for sharing your pain with the world and letting us all know that we are not alone. Pain is inevitable, physical or emotional, how we choose to let it teach us is the question. You are a Warrior Goddess,a shining example, diving into the depths of yourself, into those scary places, not running and hiding,but continuously seeking the place of true healing. I send you so much love, light and healing. May your healing journey bring you to a more expansive place if that is even possible.
Much Love,
Roey
February 23, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Hi Roey. I almost didn’t publish this comment for the rest of the world to see because I wanted it all for myself – to savor and relax into your words. You know how much I love and respect you as a healer and woman so know that I am taking your words to heart. Much love and hugs. Soleil*
February 23, 2010 at 10:48 pm
Dear Soleil,
I am Haley Green’s husband. I once heard of this word “sciatica.” I knew it meant back pain. Words like “death” also had remote meaning, until I’d experienced grief first hand. I’ve been dealing with severe back/leg pain for 18 months. I had surgery on my spine last year. Things seemed fine for a short time. Then, the pain came in a different form… An unreasonable, unrelenting stabbing, tearing, searing pain that never leaves. I became intimate with icepacks. I can sooo appreciate the fear, the anger… everything that you wrote. I deeply appreciate your honesty and courage. Though your article gave me new avenues to pursue, I found the simplest and most profound comfort, was simply reading my own experience through the words of another person. It reminded me that there is healing in company. Thank you, Soleil. May we all know deep healing and acceptance.
February 23, 2010 at 11:21 pm
Hi Daniel – I hear you. Your story too is powerful, unrelenting and deeply personal. Thank you for sharing. May YOU know deep healing & Acceptance. Love, Soleil*
February 27, 2010 at 8:26 pm
dear sweet Soleil,
how courageous of you to share your journey of pain AND love with us. we all go through so much, yet so many suffer in silence, especially those in teaching or healing roles. thanks for pushing that boundary. I’ve been thinking of you so much lately, way before your latest bout with sciatica…I’ll keep tracking your progress, and just keep in mind: there’s always a croissant waiting for you at Bakery Nouveau!
much love, kat
February 27, 2010 at 8:56 pm
Oh Kat – I feel better already just thinking about a nice flaky warm almond croissant. Thanks for the thoughts – am sending them your way, too. S*